The time I tried Crack

I know everyone says you shouldn't do it.

I know how it affects your brain, your body and your health.

I know it's addictive, I know it's bad.

But it's so, so good.

Having had my first hit from the side of a van at a festival back in 2013, I was instantly hooked and suffered severe withdrawal symptoms, trying to supplement my addiction with the placebo of Sainsbury's own caramel and peanut soft scoop.

It wasn't the same.

I tried everything: squeezy caramel sauce and dollops of melted peanut butter, vanilla ice cream sprinkled with sea salt and drenched with sugar. My housemate found dirty spoons and used wrappers in my handbag, and I knew it was time to stop.

I went cold turkey for a while, six months went by and I couldn't even look at a jar of skippy. I was ready to accept that my search for that rosy-pink truck with its supply of unbeatable quality would never again be on the market. Never again would I reach that high.

Life was okay, I ate chocolate fudge brownies and gorged myself on jam doughnuts whilst watching the mundane world go by. In an attempt to feed my adrenaline craving, I turned to the vice of piercing and tattoos, which by fate or fortune led me to Affleck's Palace, home of all things alternative. Amongst the webs of gothic jewellery, salvaged 80s footwear, pothead paraphernalia and offensive t-shirts I stumbled to find the dream-like sight of Ginger's Comfort Emporium. Was this real? Was I hallucinating? Plush velvet booths in deep crimson, an Alice-Through-The-Looking-Glass chessboard floor, and a towering chalkboard listing the reams of flavour combinations of which my heart had eyes to see only one.

I'm talking of course about Chorlton Crack, Ginger's Comfort Emporium's intoxicating combination of salted caramel and peanut butter in an ice cream. It's available in Elvis-style dosage between brioche toast and smothered with jam, Ginger now even cooks up with a brownie for the hard-hitters, but I personally like it pure.

Now there's a steady supply, I'm back on the wagon and my habit is under control. Why get clean when I can afford not to?

Chorlton Crack, 500ml, £7.50

Pick up: 52 Church Street, Manchester M4 1PW

http://www.gingerscomfortemporium.com/

Five Minute Chilli Peanut Hummus

1 can chickpeas, not drained
2-3 cloves garlic
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 tsp chilli powder
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsps olive oil

Empty the chickpeas plus their juices into a microwaveable bowl, along with the peeled cloves of garlic and set the timer to 5 minutes. While this is going, plug in your food processor and assemble the other ingredients. Add hot mixture to machine along with everything bar the olive oil. Whiz one tablespoon of oil into the processor until it reaches your preferred consistency. I like mine smooth but not liquid. 

Spoon into a sealable tupperware and drizzle with the remaining tablespoon of oil and a pinch of paprika. Experiment with other add-ins such as lemon, cumin, or tahini instead of peanut butter. This is a super-easy, super-quick recipe which is great to have on hand if you have a can of chickpeas in the cupboard. It's cheap and versatile and great smeared on a multi-grain sandwich with leftover roast sweet potato and kale, or as a twist on a classic snack served with carrot sticks.

Sonnet 167

'In poetry, the volta or turn, is a rhetorical shift or dramatic change in thought and/or emotion.'

Volta, Didsbury seems an appropriate place to visit as my deadlines have come to an end with the last hand in of an essay on Shakespearean tragedy - this is the turning point at which I experience a dramatic change in thought or emotion. It could be a sense of freedom and release, or a descent into a maddening search for life purpose. There was a lot resting on this visit.

We began in celebration with wine,

The bottle name escapes my memory;

A certain assurance that it was fine.

With a side of dough from Trove Bakery,

We opted for the tapas style menu:

The chorizo, lamb, shrimp and beetroot dip,

Showcased talent as a small plate venue.

First dish soft and flavoursome, worth the trip;

Though the shawarma I did not savour,

What redeemed this dish from spoiling the mood,

Was the wide accompaniment of flavour,

Exploding from the vibrant ray of food.

So please, my experience let alter,

Your new urgency to visit Volta.

Volta Eaterie & Bar,

167 Burton Rd,

M20 2LN
http://www.voltafoodanddrink.co.uk/

Review: Urban Cookhouse

Accompanying fellow food writer Hester Lonergan on her route to Uni, we passed by the beginnings of the now open and operating Urban Cookhouse. Intrigued by the artsy logo and stylish purple lettering, we made reservations for an early lunch accompanied by cocktails.

Hester arrived slightly before me and made the first move with a nibble of popcorn, though I had to ask what flavour it claimed to be as it tasted of nothing. Unperturbed by this bland appetiser, we moved to decide on our samples of the real food.

The menu at Cookhouse is refreshingly different, a fusion of cuisines are presented to make a beautiful, intriguing and innovative collection of dishes. Too excited to choose one thing, and too scared of not having room to try it all, we opted for a tapas-style collection of starters in place of a main meal each. Our choices in agreement, we went for the crispy whitebait in lemongrass aioli, tempura cod cheeks, scallops and black pudding, harissa duck breast and the mushroom parfait on rye.

Everything was presented beautifully, and delivered in ample time as we sipped our celebratory - it’s Easter- cocktails. Mine the Florasion Invasion, a cool and fresh balance of gin, chartreuse and bitters finished with a sprig of rosemary. After discovering the infusion of this herb into cocktails on my 21^st at the Chester Grosvenor, there was no doubt about my preference for this glass. In exchange for the tempting signature Negroni, my companion opted for the Mezcal Mess Gal, a fitting swap due to its content of sweet vermouth, mezcal and Campari. This came with the option of pickled worms, clearly an option for the thrill seeking adrenaline junkies, which evidently I must not be (or maybe I just don’t want to eat a worm). Hester took the challenge and experienced the thrill of the slimy worm popping in her mouth while I happily twiddled my sprig of rosemary. We both agreed on the taste of the drinks: not too sweet, not too potent, a perfect mix of flavour.

Unsure where to start with our stunning array of food, we continued in Spanish style by having a little of everything on one plate. The whitebait was piled generously on a wooden board and delivered the perfect crunch when dipped in the aioli, though I personally prefer this to be a little more garlicky. The cod cheeks manifested yet another generous serving, with five little battered fish pieces on a bed of Asian slaw. This was one of my favourites; the chilli and lime jam an interesting change from what would commonly be sweet and sour sauce. As a disliker of black pudding, I relied on my companion’s judgement to approve that the scallop dish was excellent and cooked to perfection, ‘like velvet’. We agreed that the harissa duck tasted like steak – albeit very good steak, it was a way of duck that I have not had before and am used to associations of sweet Asian flavours rather than the earthy chilli-pepper taste of harissa. The mushroom parfait was delicious, essentially mushroom pate delivered in a small (but more than sufficient) clip top jar with pear chutney and soft grilled rye bread.

Our 2^nd round of cocktails was slightly disappointing: we ordered the first two from the signature menu, which was essentially prosecco with cordial - there wasn’t much distinction between the tarragon & pear and the elderflower & lime. I’d rather drink it straight up and classic in a flute than fuss with the sweeteners. However, our final round more than made up for this marginal flaw, with espresso martinis that were dark, deep, earthy and delicious. The perfect light dessert.

The staff were eager and responsive to our cocktail-induced enthusiasm for asking questions, and offered an informed response to all of our queries, as well as being consistent with the timing of each course. There were a lot more things on the menu that I’d definitely come back and try, with a variation suitable for any time and any company. Though definitely placed in the expensive bracket, Urban Cookhouse is honestly priced and the cost is reflected in their stunning presentation, attention to detail and fluently attentive service. 

54 Princess St,

Manchester,

M1 6HS

http://urbancookhouse.co.uk/

Going Lentil

500g pack Heema Chana Dal: 89p

A range of spices: priceless

Well actually if you buy spices from the Worldwide supermarkets you can generally get a small bag for 69-89p. You could even stretch to £1 if you prefer to have them in a plastic shaker.

Investing in spices will save you money on buying jarred sauces, make your food taste a lot more interesting and generally transform your cooking skills. Equipped with a range of spices, you can feed yourself for at least 4 delicious meals for 89p.

I like the Heera brand as they have recipes on the back, so if you pick up a pack of lentils and have no idea what to do with them, you can confidently follow the directions on the back to ensure an authentic and delicious meal. Which is exactly what I did with my little pack of split peas:

Ingredients:

1 cup chana dal/yellow split peas, soaked overnight in 4 cups water

3 cups water

1 tsp salt

1/4tsp chilli powder

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp cumin

1/4 tsp coriander

1 tbsp tamarind (could sub honey or treacle)

1 tsp sugar

1 tbsp oil

1/4 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp garlic

Method:

After soaking the lentils, drain and add to a saucepan with the 3 cups of water. Bring to the boil and simmer with the lid on for around 30 minutes, until the lentils are becoming soft. If you have a lot of time, you can leave the lentils simmering while you go about other tasks for up to around an hour - you can't really overcook them as long as there is enough liquid.

After the 30 mins, add the spices to the dal and stir, turn the heat down and put the lid on. In a separate frying pan, heat the oil with the garlic and mustard seeds until fragrant, then stir into the dal along with the tamarind. The dal should thicken after around 3 minutes, at which point it is ready.

Serve with rice and greens, or add more water and boil with sweet potato and carrots to make a flavoursome soup.

Lentils are a great option for vegetarians, as well as the health-conscious (who isn't these days?) They're cheap, easy to use and act as a perfect base for lots of spicy dishes: soups, curries, stews and as an alternative to rice.

Curbing the no-carb: 5 healthy swaps for under £1.

The idea of cutting carbohydrates to promote weight-loss is no stranger to the diet scene, but it definitely gets a bad rep due to the inevitable heavy regain as the price for its betrayal.

Instead of going cold-turkey from the white stuff (bread, rice, pasta), why not wean yourself off it or simply cut down by making a few small changes to your existing diet. Incorporate these swaps into your meal plan at least three times a week and bask in the glory of your guiltless, bulkless satiety.

    1.    COURGHETTI

Sains: 1 x(3 for £1.50) = 50p
Aldi: 1 x(3 for 89p) = 30p

Photo: twopeasandtheirpod

Slice your courgette in half lengthways, then slide your knife across in half again - still lengthways. Cut the courgette into thin strands that somewhat/in no way resemble spaghetti. Bring a pan of water to the boil, add the courgette and cook or steam for 3-5 minutes, until tender. This is the healthiest way to cook as it involves no oil. Treat the courghetti as you would pasta - top with pesto, sprinkle with toasted seeds or simply drizzle with olive oil, crushed garlic and black pepper.


         2.    FLICE (CAULIFLOWER RICE)

Sains: 1/2x(1 for £1)=50p
Aldi: 1/2x( 1 for 75p)= 38p

Photo: thekitchn

Halve cauliflower. Grate or finely chop one half (refrigerate the other for later flice meals), put into microwave-safe bowl. Sprinkle with a tiny bit of water, cover with clingfilm or one of those plastic things  and microwave for 2 minutes. Serve as you would normal rice - with curry, grilled chicken and vegetables - or bring to life as an individual dish by adding spices and chickpeas.

     3.   MUSHABON (MUSHROOM BUNS)

Sains:2 caps at( £1/250g) = 70p
Aldi: ( 89p/250g) = 50p

These amalgamations are getting tedious, I know. Gently rinse 2 large (portobello) mushroom heads under cold water, heat a frying pan with olive oil and a tsp of crushed garlic and fry the shrooms til nicely browned. Use in place of burger buns or make a whole other tasty meal by crumbling feta on top and browning under the grill. Best served with hot and crispy fried halloumi, a tomato slice, gherkin, lettuce and carb swap no.4.

         4.       SWEDGES (SWEET POTATO WEDGES)

Sains: 2 small potatoes x(£1.20/kg)= 40p
Aldi: (92p/kg) = 30p

Hm, this might still be a carb but if we start cutting nutritious veg out of our life in the name of health then there is no hope for anyone. Preheat the oven to 200°, place a roasting tin with a drizzle of olive oil in there to heat whilst you slice around 2 small potatoes into wedges. Add the wedges to the hot pan along with spices - think rosemary, paprika, dash of cinnamon - and a restrained sprinkle of salt. Roast for 25-30mins until soft when prodded with a fork and looking irresistible. Skin on or off down to preference. I prefer on.

          5.      BOODLES  (BEANSPROUT NOODLES)

1/2 pack x(60p /400g) = 30p
Aldi don't seem to stock these, but 60p at sains? Can't argue.

Photo: acouplecooks

When you come to make a stir fry, just add more beansprouts instead of noodles. That's literally it. Be sure to add substantial amounts of protein (chicken, pumpkin seeds, peanut butter) and crunchy veg so that you're sufficiently full up. The best thing? Half a pack is 100cals, so you can have oodles of boodles if you're in the moodle.

This loaf is bananas.

B.A.N.A.N.A.S

Having recently seen a lot of recipes using yoghurt in place of fat in cake mixtures, I wanted to create my own version of banana bread which combines healthier cooking substitutes with the original ingredients. By subtly changing half of the ingredients, the difference in taste is unnoticeable unlike those fat free/low calorie recipes where your 'cake' tastes like a piece of dry sponge. As a general rule in attempting to make recipes healthier, think about the nutritional value of ingredients rather than the calorie content. Here's the recipe for my first attempt, next time I'm trying it with 100% wholemeal flour and oats so will keep you updated!

 Ingredients:

60g wholemeal flour

60 plain flour

40g oats

pinch salt

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp cinnamon

50g twice-as-sweet sugar

50g melted butter

80g yogurt

capful vanilla extract

shot of freshly brewed coffee, cooled

3 ripe bananas, mashed

2 eggs, beaten

Optional: pumpkin seeds, for topping

Method:

Preheat the oven to 200°C.

If your bananas are not already ripe, put them into the oven now while you prepare your other ingredients. After around 20 mins, the skins will go black and they will be perfectly ripe. Unless your bananas are at the peak of ripeness I recommend doing this anyway for maximum flavour. When they are cooled, the flesh should scoop out effortlessly.

Combine all of the dry ingredients apart from the oats in a large mixing bowl.

In a blender/liquidizer/food processer, whiz the oats with the eggs until fine. Alternatively, use oat flour in place to save this step. Add the rest of the liquids to the mix and combine thoroughly. 

Fold in the mashed banana and scrape mixture into a greased and lined loaf tin. Sprinkle with pumpkin seeds if using and bake for around an hour and a half. This loaf takes a while. Test if it's ready by ensuring that the top is nicely browned and a knife comes out clean when plunged into the middle.

This bread is delicious warm or cooled then toasted and spread with nutella or any nut butter. Serve for breakfast with coffee or as a not-so-naughty dessert.

 

Hola Granola

Wouldn't that be a great name for a Spanish granola company?! You saw it here first. 

All of the best breakfast flavours

As you may have guessed from previous posts (PB Pad Thai, the many ways with porridge), I'm a big fan of all things peanut butter. Combine it with banana, cinnamon and some other healthy stuff and that has to be a winner. 

Ingredients:

   200g mixed unsalted nuts (I get the resealable bags from Lidl, I think £1.89)
   Large handful rolled oats
   Large handful seeds (sunflower, pumpkin, mixed, etc)
   Handful raisins/ chopped dried fruit
   Anything else granola-ey (I had toasted flaked almonds from a previous truffle-making session)
   1 heaped tsp cinnamon
   1/2 tsp ground ginger
   A ripe banana, mashed with a fork
   2 tbsp peanut butter
   3 tbsp honey - if you like sweet granola, use more (mine had more of a nutty roasted flavour than standard sugary taste, but less is obviously healthier)

Method:

Preheat oven to 180°C. Chop nuts on a board until broken but still nicely chunky. Mix all dry ingredients in large bowl.

Separately, mix mashed banana & PB, spoon the honey into a mug and warm on high in microwave for 10 secs, then add to banana mix.

Pour banana-ey goodness over nuts and combine until well coated. 

Spread evenly onto a lightly greased tray and bake for around 20 minutes, till smelling nutty and delicious. Halfway through roasting give the mix a scrape to ensure big clusters don't form. If you like big clusters in your granola, leave this part til the end of cooking. 

Remove from oven, restrain from eating entire tray of granola. Cool and store in a sealed container. Serve on top of yoghurt, porridge, smoothies etc.

I think this would make a lovely homemade gift if packaged in an old jam jar and sealed with a pretty piece of fabric, some string and a handwritten label. 

Photo: veggiegrettie

The best gifts are those that you'd be happy to receive!

Peanut Butter Pad Thai

I'm not going to pretend that this is even close to the traditional form of Pad Thai, because I've seen the youtube comments towards those professing to create the dish, and it seems to be a controversial subject.

For those who have no opinion, let alone awareness of the delicacy, wikipedia declares that Pad Thai is a combination of rice noodles, shrimp and tofu stir-fried in tamarind, egg, beansprouts and chopped peanuts.

My version contains the key ingredients of rice noodles (vermicelli) and egg, but I have swapped the seafood for chicken and added a few extra things I had in the fridge.

Authentic or not, it worked out well and the recipe was worth remembering. As usual the ingredients are interchangeable and open to interpretation, I'd love to hear about your attempts!

Serves 2:

1.Noodles
150g Rice Noodles

Add nest to bowl of boiling water, set aside

2.Sauce
60 ml fish sauce
60 ml toasted sesame oil
1 tbsp tamarind paste
3 splashes soy sauce
Cap full cider vinegar
1 tsp each minced garlic, ginger, chilli
Pinch hot chilli powder
1 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp peanut butter

Add all ingredients to mug, microwave for 20 secs to melt PB, stir and set aside.

3.Chicken
Splash toasted sesame oil
1/2 chicken breast, thinly sliced
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp minced chilli
1/2 tsp ground ginger
Few mills black pepper
2 eggs

Bring wok to high heat with oil and add chicken and seasonings. Fry until white and push to side of the wok. Crack eggs into center and let cook for around one minute. Scramble for another minute and add:

4.Veg
1/4 savoy cabbage, shredded
8 baby button mushrooms, halved
1 carrot, julienned or chopped thinly
1/2 chopped romaine lettuce
Small handful pumpkin seeds

Continue to fry in wok for around 5 mins until veg is softened but not mushy. Keep eggs to the side to prevent overcooking.

5.Garnish

Add sauce to wok and heat for around 2 mins. Serve into bowls with extra black pepper, a pinch of fresh coriander and a wedge of lime.


I've split the steps and ingredients up like this to make the dish look less intimidating, As a long list this looks a bit daunting but it really is simple and comes together in less than around half an hour, including chopping time. For an easy-to-refer-to infographic, here is the photo of my plan for this post:

Umami: The Fifth Taste

To finally incorporate a little of my degree - the Linguistics part - into this blog, I'll give you the etymology of the Japanese loanword that takes both the title of this post and the name of the restaurant to follow. 'Umami', pronounced /uːˈmaːmi/ (bonus phonology revision) translates as a 'pleasant savoury taste'. Now included with the four classic taste dimensions: sweet; salty; bitter and sour, it can be recognized largely in Japanese cuisine often found in the additive known as MSG. This flavour is associated with a salty, savoury taste which is why its inclusion in the basic list was in dispute. However, the distinction from the 'salty' category can be made due to the way that Umami can be created through combinations of savoury foods put together. Think Remi with his cheese and strawberry in Ratatouille.

The climax

Umami means adding the intense flavour that you need in order to enjoy your meal to the full extent. Parmesan on spaghetti Bolognese. The little bit of burnt on your roast potatoes. Mustard on ham. Fish and chips with tartar sauce. Soy sauce on sushi?

Umami! You've got it!

It's also the name of a lovely underground noodle bar on Oxford Road (the Manchester version). Having visited on five occasions without a single disappointment, I thought a review of my fifth taste was in order.

On descending the restaurant's steps I first expected to be greeted with a neon-lit counter, hectic atmosphere and claustrophobic but versatile seating - a sort of cross between Archie's Milkshakes and Yo!Sushi. This presumption was only due to a glance at the offer of a £5.95 lunch deal and the coloured sign modestly pointing to 'noodle bar'. What in fact lives at the bottom of those stairs is a sophisticated and authentic Japanese restaurant that is a great meeting place for lunch or dinner, student or superior.

Shiny rectangular wooden tables stand at perfect elbow-resting height, with matching benches and similarly sized Japanese artwork adorning the right wall. Another wall gives home to the half-open kitchen with a tall bar for freshly made orders to wait. Those orders don't wait long as staff are attentive and efficient, in fitting with the place's clean and functional look. Despite the sleek design, the restaurant still holds just the right amount of character, being underground and spacious without feeling confined or empty.

The food itself is similarly simple without being boring. Mostly centred around noodles in various sizes with differing broths and flavourings, the menu also offers fried rice dishes and an appetizing selection of small plates or starters.

Vegetable salad

Gyoza dumplings

From the vast amount that I have tried, I would particularly recommend the crispy salt & pepper tofu - perfect for first time tofu-triers, or those who've had bad experiences with the spongy stuff tasting like well, sponge. The king prawn gyoza dumplings are equally satisfying and when dipped in the sweet sauce really create that UMAMI flavour (how fun learning can be!)

Char siu ramen

Monk's broth

The udon and ramen soups are honestly much of a muchness for me, which doesn't mean to say they are not good. The combination of noodle and broth makes a refreshing lunch and a spicy one is perfect for a cold winter day. Offerings on the lunch menu are a careful selection of the best sellers that the chefs are readily prepared to make in a short time,  it seems  encouraged during this time as a means of practicality for the staff. This means that you're not getting a pared down version of something from the full list, so it's a win-win situation.

Vegetable tempura

The speed of service here means I'll normally go for lunch so I can spend more time doing nothing quickly get back to the library. However, on occasions where I've dined in the evening it has also been a lovely choice, always positively commented upon by the friends I have taken. Although one night we gave in to the temptation of Japanese beer Asahi, a regret after examining the receipt to find it was £3.60 a bottle. I suppose that's just how these restaurants make their money, but as a student it's unlikely that I'd opt to have a drink there again.

Noodle party

To conclude, I'd describe Umami as an up-market and less commercial Wagamamas that guarantees a fulfilling meal. It won't blow your tastebuds, but it'll pleasure them.

Umami
Japanese Sushi Noodle Bar Restaurant
147/153 Oxford Road 
Manchester
M1 1EE
http://www.umami.cc/

Note: you may notice the mention of sushi in the address above, this is something I'm yet to try here but would love to hear any feedback from those who have!

How to make life worth getting up for.

Don't despair of the title, this is still a food blog. If you're like me, which I suppose most people are in this aspect of life, you hate the mornings. You really struggle to convince your brain that there is any reason worthwhile enough to remove yourself from the warmth and bliss of the duvet cave. A lecture? No. A meeting? Nope. An exam? Definitely not.

In the sleep-addled mind of the newly woken, it is near impossible to evaluate the importance of any oncoming activity.

Trying to comprehend a mobile version of yourself, outside of the house and fully involved in some kind of task seems absurd and ever-distant. But the thought of food, food that doesn't take long to prepare, food that is tasty and exciting - that promise of instant gratification is the best way to get out of bed. Thus why I value the importance of having a delicious breakfast.

Perfect porridge base:

Oats

Water

Milk

For one serving, I put 3 heaped tablespoons of porridge oats into a saucepan and cover with water about 2cm over where the porridge lies. I don't have a specific measurement for the liquid because I do it by eye every time and it depends on personal preference. I like mine creamy but I almost treat the porridge like a risotto - letting the oats absorb and adding more liquid as I go along.

It's normal to do everything slowly in the morning, which is why this porridge takes around 10-20 minutes to make. Obviously it is possible to make it faster simply by adding less liquid and keeping the heat on high with a watchful eye. But I like to take my time and ensure the texture is really soft and as one mouth perfectly requested: 'tasting as little like oats as possible'.

First, bring the mixture to the boil and add water or milk as necessary. I use skimmed and find that the texture is still perfectly creamy, despite what others may insist on. Once boiled, turn the heat right down and let the porridge cook, almost reducing it. It's ready to eat as soon as the liquid is absorbed, but if you have the time, it's preferable to heat the porridge on low for around 15 minutes - frequently adding more liquid to maintain the consistency. I tend to use about half and half water and milk.

The part worth getting up for - the add-ins:

Cocoa, dark chocolate and chopped walnuts

Banana, syrup and cinnamon

Mixed nuts and syrup

Seed, raisin and banana

These are just a few staples, but the combinations are endless. Another favourite of mine is to mash a whole banana, add after the boiling stage with a generous spoonful of peanut butter and melt. I love porridge because it's warming, filling, and a lot healthier than packaged breakfasts. Please share any unlikely combinations in the comments below!