The time I tried Crack

I know everyone says you shouldn't do it.

I know how it affects your brain, your body and your health.

I know it's addictive, I know it's bad.

But it's so, so good.

Having had my first hit from the side of a van at a festival back in 2013, I was instantly hooked and suffered severe withdrawal symptoms, trying to supplement my addiction with the placebo of Sainsbury's own caramel and peanut soft scoop.

It wasn't the same.

I tried everything: squeezy caramel sauce and dollops of melted peanut butter, vanilla ice cream sprinkled with sea salt and drenched with sugar. My housemate found dirty spoons and used wrappers in my handbag, and I knew it was time to stop.

I went cold turkey for a while, six months went by and I couldn't even look at a jar of skippy. I was ready to accept that my search for that rosy-pink truck with its supply of unbeatable quality would never again be on the market. Never again would I reach that high.

Life was okay, I ate chocolate fudge brownies and gorged myself on jam doughnuts whilst watching the mundane world go by. In an attempt to feed my adrenaline craving, I turned to the vice of piercing and tattoos, which by fate or fortune led me to Affleck's Palace, home of all things alternative. Amongst the webs of gothic jewellery, salvaged 80s footwear, pothead paraphernalia and offensive t-shirts I stumbled to find the dream-like sight of Ginger's Comfort Emporium. Was this real? Was I hallucinating? Plush velvet booths in deep crimson, an Alice-Through-The-Looking-Glass chessboard floor, and a towering chalkboard listing the reams of flavour combinations of which my heart had eyes to see only one.

I'm talking of course about Chorlton Crack, Ginger's Comfort Emporium's intoxicating combination of salted caramel and peanut butter in an ice cream. It's available in Elvis-style dosage between brioche toast and smothered with jam, Ginger now even cooks up with a brownie for the hard-hitters, but I personally like it pure.

Now there's a steady supply, I'm back on the wagon and my habit is under control. Why get clean when I can afford not to?

Chorlton Crack, 500ml, £7.50

Pick up: 52 Church Street, Manchester M4 1PW

http://www.gingerscomfortemporium.com/

Sonnet 167

'In poetry, the volta or turn, is a rhetorical shift or dramatic change in thought and/or emotion.'

Volta, Didsbury seems an appropriate place to visit as my deadlines have come to an end with the last hand in of an essay on Shakespearean tragedy - this is the turning point at which I experience a dramatic change in thought or emotion. It could be a sense of freedom and release, or a descent into a maddening search for life purpose. There was a lot resting on this visit.

We began in celebration with wine,

The bottle name escapes my memory;

A certain assurance that it was fine.

With a side of dough from Trove Bakery,

We opted for the tapas style menu:

The chorizo, lamb, shrimp and beetroot dip,

Showcased talent as a small plate venue.

First dish soft and flavoursome, worth the trip;

Though the shawarma I did not savour,

What redeemed this dish from spoiling the mood,

Was the wide accompaniment of flavour,

Exploding from the vibrant ray of food.

So please, my experience let alter,

Your new urgency to visit Volta.

Volta Eaterie & Bar,

167 Burton Rd,

M20 2LN
http://www.voltafoodanddrink.co.uk/

Review: Soup Kitchen

At around £6.50 per dish, Soup Kitchen is a little pricey for something that takes its name from a concept based on providing free nourishing food, but this is made up for by the generous portions and vibrant, quality ingredients pleasantly un-reminiscent of a school canteen. Begrudging dinner ladies are replaced by bubbly staff, stinginess exchanged for extra helpings.

Soup Kitchen have a relatively fixed menu with daily changing soups. This works well for variety as each time you can expect to find something  new and enticing  on the menu, with reassuring knowledge that the fail-safe jerk chicken, Caribbean dumplings with jack fruit  and sweet yam curry will be present and steaming away in their industrial sized steel buckets.

Everything is served with the option of jumbo purple coleslaw, chickpea salad, fresh herby tomatoes and help-yourself bread rolls. Water is available in thick swing-top glass bottles on the bar which is perfect if you're the type to drink at least 3 pints with every meal and feel embarrassed to continually nag the waiter (I hate being served a half pint - of anything).

Vegan stew

The serving counter also doubles up as a bar which comes fully stocked with the usual NQ-style craft beers, quirky bottled brews and range of tasty liqueurs. It's worth mentioning that SK has a downstairs club so it's theoretically somewhere you could spend the whole night. Long trestle tables make this a good spot for large parties for evening drinks, though the music is a little loud even in the day so be prepared to raise your voice for a decent conversation. Or just resign to enjoy your food in silence and save your talking topics for later.

That being said, the restaurant is cosy and friendly and perfect for a lunch that's guaranteed to be delicious. Being able to walk through the door and be comfortably sat down with a ceramic bowl of hot food in the space of five minutes is a blessing that the Northern Quarter would struggle without. There's no waiting for a table, no risk that it might not be right, and no gamble on how long it will take for the food to arrive.

The atmosphere is warm, wholesome and the embodiment of what its name derives from with extra funding, which I suppose is exactly what it is - apart from its customers are not homeless, though they may dress like they are (guilty).

31-33 Spear Street
Manchester
M1 1DF

http://soup-kitchen.co.uk/

Review: Artisan

So the customer uniform is a sleek mix of grey, black, gold, generally swanky attire and as usual I'm in my plaid shirt.

Perhaps this is less of a student hangout and more of an I-have-a-career-and-money-to-spend kinda deal. WHICH IS FINE. Just new for me, and not quite right for me. However, this doesn't rule out the possibility of students fitting in here. It's more of a date location or a sophisticated drinks with the girls thing.

Photo: Artisan

It's located in Spinningfields, so definitely fits in with the whole vibe around that area - post-work drinks, living for the weekend, business people letting their hair down after work??

If you know Spinningfields you'll know what I mean.

Atmosphere aside, I am here to talk about the food, and the food I shall talk about:

I'd had a look at the website prior to my visit, and as it claims that 'fire is at the literal heart of Artisan; handmade, rustic dishes served straight from the flames.' I veered towards dishes that would hopefully show off the use of the acclaimed wood oven. To start we ordered Mussels Marinière: 'mussels baked in bread'. This was quite an exciting starter, as it arrived in a cast-iron dish behatted with a warm and doughy flatbread. I liked this as a sharing plate, the presentation made it feel slightly special and upmarket, although the simple garlic cream sauce was nothing I hadn't tried before. Even so, the dish was well executed and ideal for a light sharing starter.

Thank goodness for high exposure

 From scouring the menu in advance I'd had my eye on the skillet of smoked salmon, poached eggs, green vegetables, hollandaise and crushed potatoes. This is the kind of thing I would make for myself at home so I was interested to see how others approached it. Its manifestation was a little underwhelming. I'd imagined the skillet to be of a similar to size to the mussels' cradle, with Jamie Oliver-style pan fried and crushed potatoes - crispy and soft. (As in the ones from 30 minute meals, they're 'squashed' potatoes but potato potato). However, they were crushed into more of a mash, and a mush. The whole thing was a bit of a mush really due to the amount of oil and liquid going on. Smoked salmon is soft and moist, so coupled with a soft poached egg, mashed potatoes and hollandaise sauce, the dish leaves you desperately savouring the crunchier pieces of broccoli just to balance your mouthful. I also feel that the addition of the hollandaise with the egg made this reminiscent of a breakfast; swap the veg for an English muffin and it's basically eggs benedict.

I think this dish could work with more rigid carbohydrates and without the rich sauce. At £11.50, it also feels a little steep for something that can be compared with a morning meal.

A further opportunity to sample the wood-fired offerings, we opted for the mushroom pizza. Topped with rosemary, thyme and truffle oil, this was an authentic version of an Italian classic. The thin, soft yet crisp base was perfect for folding into quarters to make each slice into a calzone (it's the way to eat fresh pizza). My only criticism is perhaps it's over-authenticity - it really felt like we were sat outside the Colosseum - in that it was over a tenner for a reasonably small and scarcely topped pizza.

Satisfied, but not quite full up (I wonder whether this is the purpose of the serving sizes), we chose from the dessert menu. It was no contest to choose a winner as chocolate fondant took place on the list, a personal favourite. With fond memories of this dessert from a very special meal with my Mother in Casa Marieta, Girona, I think perhaps my hopes were too high. The pudding was hot and gooey with unarguably good vanilla ice cream, but it lacked that rich depth of cocoa that one desires from a chocolate dessert.

This being said, the service was faultless and Artisan did demonstrate everything their menu maintains to be. However, with the dim lighting not bright enough to capture the food *sob* and clubby music at a similar volume to the venue its designed for, I get the feeling that Artisan's philosophy is not all about the food. As the bitter-from-the-bill couple next to us aptly remarked, "you're paying for the ambience".

Artisan strikes me as the place you should go to with people that you don't know very well: the volume ensures there'll be no awkward silences, and the elaborate cocktail menu is a great conversation starter in more ways than one.

People want to show off that they've been there, take an insta and tag it. There's even a 'bitchin' lounge' otherwise known as photo opportunity, as well as a booth to print snaps of you and your mates looking all pretty. Personal comments aside, the restaurant was buzzing and every table booked, people were enjoying themselves - Artisan is doing it just right for their demographic and I'm not recommending they change. 

Artisan 
Avenue North,
18-22 Bridge Street, 
Manchester
http://www.artisan.uk.com/

Review: Electrik Food

Meeting my Dad for lunch in Manchester, I happily seized the offer of taking the car to try somewhere a little different. We ventured to Chorlton, a small town just outside of Manchester between Fallowfield and Didsbury. Note for Fallowfield dwellers: it's very easy to get to with the 168 or 169 bus, especially great if you have a bus pass!

When it comes to restaurants, I am very guilty of judging a book by its cover, but I think a lot of the time the judgement bodes true. I see clean lettering, rich wooden surfaces and bold colours and assume a menu that consists of food quirks and on trend dishes. In this case, I was right, and even taken beyond my expectations.

Observe the wood

Drawn in by the striking black & orange sign and little outdoor front seating area, we were enticed further by the layout as we entered to bright pink walls and soft blue seating. The bar is well lit and adorned with homemade cakes, colourful teas and a wide selection of spirits. Some were sat on high chairs with pints of craft ale, showing Electrik's versatility as a place for drinking, dining, snacking or coffee-and-cake-ing.

As if we weren't already, the bonus of 50% off all food in October had us sold, and we made our way to a booth-style table. Impressed by the menu's variety yet simplicity, we chose Patatas Bravas (one of my favourite tapas dishes, when done properly) and the Teriyaki Salmon. Due to the offer on food, I went all-out and got a soft drink - elderflower & lime cordial with soda. Wild, I know.

Food arrived shortly and was beautifully presented. I dived into the fried potatoes first, tweaked with the addition of chorizo, small capers and a fried egg. The chorizo was delicious, and the egg was a lovely addition to an authentic Spanish classic. However, the whole dish was a little oily for my liking, as I prefer really crispy dry potatoes with a fluffy centre. I also had extra mayo as the dish didn't come with the traditional garlic aioli and tomato sauce. I think the red oiliness may actually have been their version of the tomato sauce, but I don't think it worked as well as it could have. Still, a great innovative dish with a lot of thoughtful touches.

Observe the oil

The teriyaki salmon was faultless. Sat on a bed of ripe green pak choi and red onion salad, the black sesame skin made the dish look stunning. It was sweet and tangy, the textures of the crunchy salad and soft fish contrasting perfectly. I also liked that this dish was an interesting healthy option. Flavours were used cleverly to make simple food taste delicious; the salmon was glazed with japanese teriyaki, and the salad tossed in chilli and fresh lime. 

Observe the beauty

More than contented with our mains, we stayed for coffee and cake/cappuccino and carrot. Carrot cake is always a winner and this one didn't change that sentiment, the experimental courgette and lime cake was also a pleasant surprise. Our waitress was highly apologetic about the delay of my cappuccino as they had to run and get milk from downstairs, I was happy to swap to a black americano but she insisted and I was glad as the coffee was worth the wait. The overall service was great, all of the staff were very friendly and receptive to engage with my ever-chatty Father.

There were plenty more things on this menu that I'd like to try, particularly including the beef bourguignon with mash, bacon and onions and the Spanish omelette with broad beans and pomegranate. Electrik have taken inspiration from a variety of cuisines to create an interesting, accessible and exciting menu. I'll probably be returning in the near future - before the month is out!

Electrik Bar
50% off food all October

559a Wilbraham Road
Chorlton
Manchester 
M21 0AE

http://www.electrikbar.co.uk/

Review: Guerrilla Eats

The label ‘hipster’ is thrown around a lot these days, especially in Manchester. The subculture is said to typically involve the likes of plaid shirts, skinny jeans and ‘geek’ glasses.

I confess guilty, guilty and guilty (they’re prescription, so it’s completely fine and not pretentious at all).

It must be something about the cobbled streets, the low-hung lighting and the functional/minimal decor of the Northern Quarter that makes people in Manchester want to grow a beard and start wearing vintage knitwear.

As with clothing fashions, food also moves with the times, keeping up with trends to satisfy the clientele’s current palette. ‘Hipster’ style is reflected in the food we are now offered: it is alternative and creatively presented. In my opinion, a great thing.

Halloumi is the plaid shirt of hipster food, brioche buns the oversized jumper. Sweet potato fries, pulled pork and craft beer are the alternative music of the culinary world. Nonsensical parallels aside, my point is not to criticise, but to congratulate the continuity with which Manchester churns out these exciting food innovations.

What better example to illustrate my point than an upcycled warehouse full of independent food vendors: Guerrilla Eats.

You don't get hipster without an edgy filter

Every Saturday from 5pm - 12am, a varying selection of talented street food micro businesses gather to host an evening filled with cutting-edge dishes made fresh before your eyes. This isn't an elaborate way of describing a greasy fast food takeaway convention, it is a collection of passionate and genuine foodies creating quality 'eats'.


















As I attended as part of a social with The Mancunion, I only bought two dishes of my own and had a sneaky taste of everyone else's (their reviews are to follow on the site). The first was from trader Mumma Schnitzel, which offered mini brioche burgers for £4 or 2 for £6. Naturally I went for the bargain combo of two, choosing the signature twice fried panko-crumbed chicken with sweet chilli sauce, and a less fiery chicken schnitzel with avocado and something else that I can't remember. Evidently, the former was the winner as the tangy taste stayed in my mouth and my memory. Crispy fried chicken on a soft bread is not a bite one forgets. Not to say that the avo-chicken wasn't good; my companion preferred this due to the lack of spice, thus proving that varying tastes were well catered for. Further proof of the mini-burger's success is my lack of photograph. Sorry.

My second choice was the delightfully monstrous toastie from Big Grillie Style. 'The Fresh Prince' was stuffed with pulled pork, mac and cheese (yes, pasta on bread) and extra grilled cheese. It's exactly this kind of diet-ridiculing fusion that gives the event its warfare-inspired name. These guys sabotage the fundamental rules of food combinations, and I mean that in a completely positive way. This IS a treat, it's not a waste of calories like eating a big mac and immediately wanting another one. It's filling, packed with quality ingredients and deliciously satisfying.

The Fresh Prince

Complemented by one of the bar's German swing-topped bottled lagers, this not-just-a-sandwich really hit the spot.

A potential souvenir

As well as serving great food, the atmosphere of the warehouse is something in itself. The long wooden tables, live DJ and fully stocked bar mean that this is a great place to spend an evening with friends. We made full use of the £4 cocktails mixed with scrumpy, rum and juice while others celebrated our outing with copious bottles of Prosecco on offer for the reasonable price of £16.

As there were traders there that I didn't sample and more to come each week, this is definitely an event I shall be returning to. Hipster food: keep it coming.

Guerrilla Eats
Free Entry
Every Sat 5pm - 12am
Blossom St,
M4 5AF
http://guerrillaeats.com/